When Silence is a Weight

There’s a silence that feels peaceful, restful even. A holy kind of stillness.

And then…..there’s the kind of silence that feels heavy.

It’s the silence that doesn’t settle you, but suffocates you. The kind that walks into the room before anyone else does. The kind that hangs between two people like a wall neither wants to name. The kind you carry in your spirit when things are left unsaid for far too long.

I’ve felt that silence.

It’s not always about conflict. Sometimes it’s what isn’t happening that hurts the most. The conversations that never happened.

The apologies that never came.

The affirmations that never landed.

The validation you didn’t realize you were hoping for, until it didn’t show up.

And let’s be honest, silence in relationships can be complicated.

Sometimes it’s used as a weapon.

Other times it’s a shield. And in some cases…..it’s just exhaustion. Because saying one more thing feels like shouting into a void.

But here’s the tension: when silence is a weight, it’s not just about the absence of words, it’s about the presence of everything left unspoken.

The assumptions.

The unmet needs.

The emotional labor of deciding whether to speak, hold your peace, or wait to be heard.

It can wear you down.

And in those moments, the enemy would love to whisper:

“See? You don’t matter.”

“Your feelings are too much.”

“Just keep it all to yourself.”

But today, I want to pause and remind you (and myself):

Even when people don’t acknowledge the weight you’re carrying, God does.

In fact, He specializes in sitting with us in the quiet. Not every silence is empty. Sometimes it’s sacred space. A place where God waits to speak, not over us, but to us.

I’m learning that even when silence is a weight, it can also be a mirror.

It shows me where I’m longing to be seen.

Where I need boundaries.

Where I’m still healing.

And where I might need to let go of expectations that keep breaking my heart.

So if you’ve been sitting in a heavy silence lately, whether in your marriage, your family, your friendships, or even in your own soul, I see you. More importantly, God hears what you can’t say.

And that’s enough.

Because in His presence, silence isn’t a weight, it’s a meeting place.

A sacred space where even the unspoken has a sound.

Written by: Ebony Headspeth